There are big changes ahead. Which, let me tell you, I love. I’ve made a sort of career of it over the last six years in particular: Chile, Argentina, Panama, then Colombia, with multiple apartments and neighborhoods in each of those places.
There’s some transitioning on the way that I’ve been thinking about for awhile, wanting for awhile…but now that it’s here, I’m feeling bittersweet all over the place.
The Big Change
We’re moving back to the States.
We had mentioned it to ourselves as an option a few months ago, but we figured it was a “down the road” idea. Then, all of a sudden, Brent sold his chiropractic office, and we were free to go if we wanted.
I love Colombia, and I love living here, but nowhere is 100% awesome. Tasks like going to the bank and applying for residency had started to feel like hassles rather than adventures. It almost feels like moving to the US will be more challenging and exciting than any other move we could make at this point. (I wrote more about this, and about the realization that discomfort has become my comfort zone, in a recent issue of Growth Advance magazine.) We’re feeling a pull to get closer to family and I, in particular, would like to live in one house or apartment for more than nine months (my previous record over the last six years).
I was talking to my friend about how conflicted this move makes me feel, and she said, “Transitions are messy, almost by definition.”
Transitioning is Messy
I think about transitioning a lot, because I seem to do it a lot. Yoga gives us a unique opportunity to practice transitioning with grace, because through the course of a yoga class we’re constantly transitioning from one pose to another. How we use our breath, our intention, and our attitude helps determine how messy or graceful those transitions are.
Sometimes, people who see my yoga practice compliment me on my graceful movements. This comes from years of practice, of course, and the intention I always carry to move smoothly.
I’m going to be using that same intention now as I move back to my home country.
There will be headaches and challenges I haven’t had to deal with for a long time. Things like buying a car, spending more money on groceries, and not being able to say, “No entiendo” when I don’t like what someone’s telling me. I’ve already been through a lot as I said good-bye to my Colombian friends, packed my belongings (after getting rid of everything that wouldn’t fit in a couple of suitcases), and got my dog ready for a ride on an airplane. I did it all one big breath, one big attitude check, at a time.
One Bit at a Time
Transitions are messy. We don’t know where we’ll be living. For the next few months, I’ll be dividing time between my family members’ homes while searching for my own as I try to keep up on work projects. The humble dream of having my small quantity of books, clothes, and art supplies in one place (right now I’ve got stuff in five–yes, five–different houses) is still lingering out there in the future. Messy.
Meanwhile, I don’t even know if this will stick. I do enjoy living abroad, and I wonder if I’m just having a grass-is-greener kind of moment. I wonder if I’ll get back, get settled, and then get restless again. Transitioning might be messy, but it can be a little bit addictive, too. I’m definitely not opposed to moving abroad again one day. In fact, I’m kinda hoping life will lead me that way.
For now, I’ll be on my yoga mat each day. There’s no need to reflect the chaos around me. I’ll be taking one graceful breath at a time.