I don’t usually think much about new year’s resolutions until about December 28. I tend to adopt new habits throughout the year as I realize I need them, so by the time January 1 rolls around there’s not usually much left to implement. (This year I do have a couple of things to do, which I’ll get to in a second.)
I’ve written in past years about how I don’t like the word “resolution.” Breaking resolutions is such a common habit that by calling them that, it seems like you’re asking to break them, and I recommended using “goals” instead. However, a few weeks ago, I read The Happiness Project (affiliate link) by Gretchen Rubin, and she made a really good point.
Goals have a measurable completion.
You can set a goal to run a marathon, get a new job, or . After you achieve the goal, what then?
Resolutions, on the other hand, imply an ongoing habit.
You never finish exercising every day, drinking more water, or spending less money on clothes. Those are things you have to resolve to do every day. And while some of us do use the new year to focus on a new goal, we more commonly set behavioral change resolutions that require our attention day after day. Forever.
Not that that makes them any easier to keep. But I think there is some power in realizing that.
The things we’re resolving to do are usually habits we want to get into, and habits simply take some time to develop. When we quit our resolutions before January is over, we don’t give ourselves time to develop the habit. Once the habit is set, it really does get easier to exercise, fill your water bottle instead of your coffee mug, and read instead of go shopping online. But we’ve got to practice those habits for awhile before they ingrain themselves.
So don’t get discouraged and quit on January 29 because you haven’t lost 10 pounds or you’re still craving cigarettes. There’s no end to these resolutions, so you can’t fail unless you quit trying. Eventually, July’s going to come around. Do you want to be where you are now? Or do you want to be someone who has been exercising daily for six months, whether or not you’ve lost all the weight you’d hoped to?
This is where yoga kicks in: you have to stay present, here and now.
When you focus too much on how far you have to go, it gets overwhelming–and that’s when you quit. But today, right now, you’re doing fine. Right here in this moment, you’re not smoking that cigarette! And that’s a success. So celebrate that, and go moment by moment rather than focusing on the days and years ahead. Those will come, and you’ll handle those moment by moment, as well.
In the end, it’s simple: how badly do you want to change? There are countless stories of people overcoming all sorts of odds to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, or do whatever it is they really wanted to do. If you want it, truly, those resolutions will stick and you will make it happen, I have no doubt.
As for my resolutions?
I do have a couple this year. One is to read a book a week, and the other is to get rid of any item of clothing I don’t feel 100% confident and beautiful in (good-bye, too-big shirts I wear around the house), both of which I started working on in December. What are you going to work on this year?